Combatwords September 9, 2011: Impracticality

Combatwords September 9, 2011: Impracticality

I was going to skip the game this week, but after a drink of vodka and a witty online exchange with Sean McCollum (http://twitter.com/#!/Syntaxidermist/status/112379794938802177) I will accept the Pepsi challenge and use armor nipples as an aspect of this week's topic. George RR Martin's favorite sarcastic medieval quip seems to focus around nipples on a breastplate (I know! Give me nipples on a breastplate—hold the plate!)(and make it singular, because multiple nipples suggest a Chernobyl hottie, else a witch). If only armor was mammalian, then perhaps there would be some use for aforementioned nipples. Now I have also been rereading Robert Browning after a decade long hiatus and let me tell you, I forgot how impractical the guy was. He makes me look like Nikola Tesla.

So what is the point of this week's CombatWords? To tell utilitarianism to fuck off. I think that's fair and if you don't, well, I need your opinion like a fish needs a bicycle.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 9/12/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 9/14/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 12am PST 9/10/2011, +1 if posted by 3am PST 9/10/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 9/12/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 9/12/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords, September 2, 2011: Yes

Combatwords, September 2, 2011: Yes

Those who know me know that I can be very negative. I refuse so that I might demonstrate some discipline. I refuse because I fear what I am like when I am unhindered. I refuse because it is inconvenient for me to say yes. 'No' I will not talk to him. 'No' I will not comply. No is the domain of death, zero and yin. But life is yes. Love is yes. Danger is yes.

Thrive, live, act—say 'yes' to Combatwords this week.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 9/5/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 9/7/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 9pm PST 9/2/2011, +1 if posted by 3am PST 9/3/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 9/5/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 9/5/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



ps: the song is from an album called 'Yes.' I didn't pick that track because this song is better. See? I said yes to a controversial aesthetic judgment!

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Combatwords, August 19, 2011: Missing

Combatwords, August 19, 2011: Missing

Sometimes we know something is missing: your cat runs away, my wallet falls out of my pocket. Sometimes upon meeting someone special, we feel as if we were incomplete before the personnel epiphany—we can miss our love. We can be inaccurate and fail in our aim and purpose. We can also examine the concept more closely: is ‘missing’ a judgment, an opinion, a perspective? Or is ‘missing’ more an ontological concept, implying a universal permanence to all ideas? There seems to a surprising amount of complexity behind the word, so take advantage of it.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 8/22/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 8/24/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 9pm PST 8/19/2011, +1 if posted by 3am PST 8/19/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 8/22/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 8/22/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, August 5, 2011: Pseudoscience and Magical Thinking

Combatwords, August 5, 2011: Pseudoscience and Magical Thinking

Welcome to my chamber. I see many things in my Crystal ball. A ghost has told me that the stars declare that according to your blood type the full moon will determine whether ancient aliens have telepathically imparted upon you the power to influence statistical outcomes. Not impressed? Perhaps you would like to find out more about the language of animals? Or maybe astral projection is more your thing? Ah, I know! You are a seeker of the divine words of power. Inscribe here and perhaps you will become at one with the cosmos…

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 8/8/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 8/10/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 9pm PST 8/5/2011, +1 if posted by 3am PST 8/6/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 8/10/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 8/10/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html


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CombatWords 7/29/2011: Brain & Mind Damage

CombatWords 7/29/2011: Brain & Mind Damage

Have you ever slammed your head into a brick wall? Choked to unconsciousness? Blacked out while drinking? That’s the more ordinary sort of brain damage. Phineas Gage and Rosemary Kennedy are more extreme versions of brain damage—actual chunks of their brains were removed. Horrifying, but Anders Behring Breivik and Bin Laden are perhaps even more extreme—ideas damaged their minds.

I like incomplete things and people. So write about that.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST 8/1/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 8/3/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 7pm PST, 7/29/2011; +1 if posted by 2am PST, 7/30/2011. -1 if posted by 6am PST, 8/1/2011; -2 if posted by 12pm PST, 8/1/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html


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Combatwords, July 22, 2011: Insanity

Combatwords, July 22, 2011: Insanity

If you tell me that psychosis, neurosis or any flavor of insanity is a mere social construct, I’m going to ask who diagnosed you crazy and why you have a problem with shrinks. We want to be outsiders, but not too far outside. You don’t want to be too much of a conformist, but if you’re too much of a weirdo, you’re not going to get the boy/girl/gold/glory and might as well eat corn chips until you’re the size of a fridge. Insanity might be a social construct, but what are you suggesting—that you’re outside society? That you eat dinner in the morning and make conversation with ghosts? I’ve got news for you—that’s basically insanity. I mean sure, personally, I’d just call you eccentric; but I’m not a judge on American Idol and I’m not your therapist either. And these freaks are on the lookout for any abnormal behavior (BF Skinner won), so if you can’t wear your best ‘I’m normal’ hat, you’d best expect trouble.

I can’t even remember if I’ve done this topic before, but I selected it because it seems like the in-thing lately is to get 5150’ed and involuntarily spend your money on a nuthouse. I have a friend who mentioned that she once wanted to kill herself to her shrink—so the therapist of course locked her up right then and there. So this is the opposite vector—if you go around talking about how uncomfortable this rotten world makes you feel, get ready for more rottenness. In her case, she couldn’t even talk about how rotten she USED to feel. Even those who are paid to professionally deal with insanity don’t want to hear it. So don’t tell me it’s ‘only’ a social construct. Maybe insanity is an analytic concept, but what are you going to do? Fight a mental health institution? That’s sounding pretty nutty to me.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST 7/25/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 7/27/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 7pm PST, 7/22/2011; +1 if posted by 2am PST, 7/23/2011. -1 if posted by 6am PST, 7/27/2011; -2 if posted by 12pm PST, 7/27/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html




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Combatwords, July 15, 2011: Balance

Combatwords, July 15, 2011: Balance

I was reading some scifi fascist—maybe it was Jerry Pournelle, maybe it was someone else—my point is that he made the creepy point that if the Western World (ie anyone who has the time and/or inclination to read/play Combatwords) truly wanted to throttle industrial/technical/economic competition, all we had to do was buy grain. If each of us bought an extra 10 kg of grain, we could kill the rest of the world by driving food prices so high, we wouldn’t need to worry about the deforestation of the Great Rift Valley, Iranian nukes, illegal immigration, or Chinese plastic.

I also read a great story by James Blish called ‘We All Die Naked.’ Extinction by garbage. Dine on neon shrimp before being buried in feces and ash tainted rubble (the shrimp are in the water… the shrimp shit in the water… we eat the shrimp… we shit in the water… the shrimp eat shit…). It’s like those tales of hoarders whose decades worth of newspapers topple and bury them alive, except it’s a whole civilization doing it. Those bottles and CDs that come with new hardware we’ve purchased must be balanced very carefully atop our desks of phones, books and dishes (if we’re slobs)(you are a slob)(I have spies everywhere). Aha! KW finally gets to the thesis of this week’s combat: balance.

The word ‘destabilizing’ is so context-specific, we almost don’t see it anymore. Yet, we often hear we’re in unstable times; that things are destabilizing (were they ever stable?). And it’s true. We aren’t on stable ground. You might say we’re standing on liquefying ‘deep shit’ and are trying to find a way to walk upon it, like mini-Jesuses (Jesii). So why not just make the topic ‘stability?’ Because ‘stability’ is a judgment—maybe not absolutely, but the word is laden with concepts I would just as soon subsume beneath the liquefying mountain called ‘balance.’

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 7/18/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 7/20/2011. Nobody (self included) has been doing critiques lately. Here’s a modest proposal: whoever does the most critiques this week, starts off with a base +1 for next week’s combat. I know! Reward people with more of something they’ve already demonstrated they don’t value!

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 3pm PST, 7/15/2011; +1 if posted by 2am PST, 7/16/2011. -1 if posted by 6am PST, 7/20/2011; -2 if posted by 12pm PST, 7/20/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords for July 11, 2011: The Rules of Sci-Fi

Combatwords for July 11, 2011: The Rules of Sci-Fi

The famous and influential sci-fi editor Groff Conklin said there were only a few types of sci-fi stories: invasions from space, space travel & possible worlds, parapsychological concepts, time travel & possible worlds, worlds of tomorrow, the superscience of humanity, and earth wonders. So this topic can either be on the archetypes of novelty, or sci-fi (or sci-po). Be creative. Even if you think this topic isn't for you, surely you have given some thought to science—and perhaps been proven wrong. That's even better. Flawed misunderstandings of the truth are the most entertaining truths of all.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 7/11/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 7/13/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 9pm PST 7/8/2011; +1 if posted by 2am PST, 7/9/2011; -1 if posted by 6am 7/11/2011; -2 if posted by 12pm 7/11/2011



The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords for July 1, 2011: Independence

Combatwords for July 1, 2011: Independence

If I was rich, I'd be stalked by the hungry suits, craving my signature. I would ride the taxi—no—a limo to a fortress of glass and the worm of hunger would slide through my telephone receiver; my monitor.

If I had a bunker with a million barrels of oil and a hydroponic farm glazed in a ten horsepower halo of lights, I could grow my food and finally, be alone. It would be a coffin; a place free of aspiration. A pyramid where I would bury myself and wait for the afterlife. The bombs would detonate. I'd hear it on the radio. My friends would be on the radio. When they bored me enough, I would switch it off and inject myself with my homegrown fruit of the poppy.

If I could contain every metabolic process inside my bulk, I'd never piss again. Never move again. I would be a statue of boredom. I could plant myself where pigeons congregate and I could be their septic scepter: a statue of shit.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 7/4/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 7/6/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 8pm PST 7/1/2011; +1 if posted by 1am PST, 7/2/2011; -1 if posted by 6am 7/4/2011; -2 if posted by 12pm 7/4/2011



The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords for June 24, 2011: Freestyle

Combatwords for June 24, 2011: Freestyle

1st poster sets the topic. Subsequent posters need to riff off prior posters.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 6/27/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 6/29/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 8pm PST 6/24/2011; +1 if posted by 1am PST, 6/25/2011; -1 if posted by 6am 6/27/2011; -2 if posted by 12pm 6/27/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

Now be a good soldier and post something good:



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Combatwords June 17, 2011: Work Work Jerks

Combatwords June 17, 2011: Work Work Jerks

I've become a work work jerk. I used to work to survive. Now I work for the sake of my own glory. My towering office is a metaphor for my own ego. How despicable. I feel like the protagonist in Falling Down must have felt before he lost his job. Everything makes a sort of misanthropic common sense. There is so much bullshit everywhere, but at least work makes sense and at least my work orients me in this disorienting dystopia.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 6/20/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 6/22/2011 with 24 hour rolling grace period for critique responses.

Bonuses/Penalties: +1 if posted by 1am PST 6/18/2011; -1 if posted by 6am PST 6/21/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords, May 27, 2011: Frauds, Forgeries, Disguises and Impersonations

Combatwords, May 27, 2011: Frauds, Forgeries, Disguises and Impersonations

Before we can be, we must impersonate being. You wanted to grow up, so you drank that bottle, smoked that pack, filled that womb; cashed that check, wore that suit, inked that notebook, claimed the way was past the gas station—no, the other gas station—whatever. What's wrong with you? Why the small disguises? You could have impersonated an heir to the Xanax fortune, but instead you played it safe. Instead of claiming your own writing, you could have hyped your notebook as the next Voynich manuscript. You fool, you fool.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 5/30/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST 5/31/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted before 6pm PST 5/27/2011, +1 if posted before 12am PST 5/28/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 5/31/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 5/31/2011



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Combatwords May 6, 2011: Freeway

Combatwords May 6, 2011: Freeway

Ribbons of meet on the static-yet-mobile palace of traction. Your religion is auto, or stick-shift; it's speed and it's trap and it's an exploration of the already explored.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 5/9/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 5/11/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 5/6/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 5/7/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 5/9/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 5/9/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords April 29, 2011: The Ancestors

Combatwords April 29, 2011: The Ancestors

The ancestors hate you. Caveman great grandpa x 100 says "When I was your age, I'd already killed a dozen men for their flocks of sheep." Victorian grandpa says, "With so many opportunities for profit, I can't believe you are descended from my loins." Ancient Egyptian grandmother says "You could have married for love, but didn't love anyone? Boo-hoo!" Yes, the ancestors hate you.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 5/2/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 5/4/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 4/29/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 4/30/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 5/2/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 5/2/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, April 22, 2011: Declared and Undeclared Malice

Combatwords, April 22, 2011: Declared and Undeclared Malice

I'm considered a malicious guy and I'm fine with that. My malice is well considered rejectionism. Why not? There are outrages everywhere. Does this mean I have a thin skin, or does it mean that most people have no moral compass? I say it's both. We live in a vile civilization that glamorizes power and yet, isolates us as individuals; thus encouraging people to objectify others. Isn't that fucked up? To seek power over those who appear to be little more than cartoons? Why shouldn't I hate that? And if I choose to be a hater, what's wrong with that? Those who label me thusly, what are you suggesting? That one shouldn't be outraged? That one should just stfu and tend one's garden? I oppose that on principle. Principle: the source and solution of and to my malice. Fucks are deaf and blind to good deeds and appeals for goodness—but by definition, fucks are very sensitive to the malice of others. So I'm proud of my malice. At least I declare it and it's not like I'm a Joan Rivers or Perez Hilton, using my malice against other, basically vapid enterprises. And the worst of course are the malicious who can actually argue with a straight face that they are not acting on hatred, but are rather acting on an impulse of love and compassion. These people should be murdered.

Free-for-all rules apply for this combat, which means if you don't like the main topic, go and riff off another combatant's composition.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 4/25/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 4/27/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 4/22/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 4/23/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 4/25/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 4/25/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords, April 8, 2011: Spring

Combatwords, April 8, 2011: Spring

It's Spring. Do your thing.

Free-for-all rules apply for this combat, which means if you don't like the main topic, go and riff off another combatant's composition.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 4/11/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 4/13/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 4/8/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 4/9/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 4/11/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 4/11/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, April 1, 2011: Nostalgia

Combatwords, April 1, 2011: Nostalgia

I read somewhere that nostalgia is a weapon. Maybe I inferred that. Does it matter? Think about it: a whimsical craving for the past poisons one's present and makes one vulnerable to appeals to 'return to the past.' Politics is only one angle—art does the same thing. Perhaps they intersect, as Kundera suggested, in the form of kitsch? And if nostalgia is the past and kitsch is the present, then what is the future but fantasy? A realm that never connects to our present—a floating point that is always somewhere beyond the not-quite-obtainable near-future. So even if nobody said nostalgia is a weapon, that's one of my takes on it. You probably have a different one.

Free-for-all rules apply for this combat, which means if you don't like the main topic, go and riff off another combatant's composition.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 4/4/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 4/6/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals. Addendum: Based off the LAST critique in the thread.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 4/1/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 4/2/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 4/4/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 4/4/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords March 25, 2011: Hooray For Dystopia

Combatwords March 25, 2011: Hooray For Dystopia

Yes, I know this is a rehash of a #Combatprose (RIP) topic, but nobody here played that game. Besides, dystopia is terrific and always deserves reexamination: drive thru prayer and rubber porn star fuck toys are only part of what makes it so weird. Robo-traders flash crash markets sending millions into poverty and starvation and the powers that be say, 'ha ha, tough shit. That's the market in action baby!' But only recently have we seen the true face of mechanized degeneracy: the heirs are losing the technology of their fathers and mothers. Nuclear power plants run on Indian engineers who will have computer scientist children. The devolution is complete when the grandchild is a poet, writer or artist-type. Some say we will be the most literate stone-age people ever, some day. I prefer to think of ourselves and this age as the last of the screaming flesh before we fuse with machines and become even greater prosthetic gods.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 3/28/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 3/30/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 3/25/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 3/26/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 3/28/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 3/28/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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[Combatwords, March 18, 2011] End of an Era

[Combatwords, March 18, 2011] End of an Era

When the Han Dynasty collapsed an age of trade made way for an age of war. It was even worse in Europe when the Roman Empire collapsed: the culture was utterly destroyed. When Franz-Ferdinand was assassinated it started the end of 400 years of European imperialism. When I traded my bicycle & New York lock for a suit and tie, it was the end of an era too. The idea of 'transition' is too gentle—it implies that with an end there is a beginning. There is doubt embedded in the idea of an 'end of an era.' Obviously the Japanese earthquake, tsunami and nuclear crisis suggest that this era is ending too.



ps: I'm only giving you 3 hours to get a +2 bonus.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 3/21/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 3/23/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 3pm PST, 3/18/2011, +1 if posted by 12am PST 3/19/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 3/21/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 3/21/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, March 11, 2011: Reversal

Combatwords, March 11, 2011: Reversal

In empty-hand Aikido, one facilitates the momentum of an attacker to defend one's self. A few slight movements change a punch into a fist-led flip. Most people in the West consider Aikido to be a purely defensive martial art, which must surprise the hell out of those who practice the form with a sword. A sword you ask? Yes. The very same motions which can be used empty-handed to aid the momentum of one's attacker can be used to strike and parry with a sword. So contemplate that, while you GRAB MY WRIST*!

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 3/14/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 3/16/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 3/11/2011, +1 if posted by 12am PST 3/12/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 3/14/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 3/14/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html





*How aggressive Aikido masters challenge people to a fight

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