Subscribe in a readerWednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Support CombatWords!
You can do one of two things to promote combatwords:
1) Go to these social promotion sites to promote us: Digg, reddit, propeller, and you can retweet the day's news poem on twitter; we're there as 'toylitpaper.'
or
2) Feign some interest in our advertisers... or even better, buy their crap.
This enables 3 things:
1) Combatwords' quality will increase with increased competition and traffic.
2) 'Gifts' to champs will encourage some real bloodlust (easier than promises of 'prizes').
3) Therefore, you will have a better reading experience, at no cost to you. I know there are at least seven of you who obsessively check this page, because I obsessively check my web stats. Instead of one of those visits, go and promote Combatwords--it takes about fifteen minutes to do all the above sites. Then your work will be done permanently and when you return, there will be a higher likelihood of good stuff to read here.
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1) Go to these social promotion sites to promote us: Digg, reddit, propeller, and you can retweet the day's news poem on twitter; we're there as 'toylitpaper.'
or
2) Feign some interest in our advertisers... or even better, buy their crap.
This enables 3 things:
1) Combatwords' quality will increase with increased competition and traffic.
2) 'Gifts' to champs will encourage some real bloodlust (easier than promises of 'prizes').
3) Therefore, you will have a better reading experience, at no cost to you. I know there are at least seven of you who obsessively check this page, because I obsessively check my web stats. Instead of one of those visits, go and promote Combatwords--it takes about fifteen minutes to do all the above sites. Then your work will be done permanently and when you return, there will be a higher likelihood of good stuff to read here.
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Canned Combat, Feb 16, 2010: Cops
No matter what, you have to deal with them. Verse, prose, whatever... let's see some scuffling.
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Subscribe in a readerSunday, February 14, 2010
"A Good Enemy is Better Than a Good Friend"
I didn't believe my pal when he said that, but it turns out he's right in many ways. A rival is critical for giving the self some context. Rivalry disintegrates most personal delusions, because the rival doesn't give one the luxury of theoretical comparisons.
Battle strengthens us. Not only must organisms compete for resources, so too must memes; which compete for attention and medium in the name of replication. The artist is a meme factory. How well does an artist's production stand up in this ecosystem of ideas? Like most organisms, most every artist's memes have advantages and disadvantages.
We can either spend time with the ass-kissers of the world, who have their own selfish reasons for telling us we're good, when we're really not; or we can spend time with people who want our metaphorical blood. Ideally, one should find both sets of traits in the same person; but barring that, we should have one place for our allies and another for our enemies. Well, I'm not really interested in enmity per se; but I am interested in sparring and oneupsmanship. I am interested in a type of bragging party. I want you to prepare breaths, memorize them, and then sling them. I want you to want to ruthlessly kill your weak writing traits with the help of a fellow combatant.
You are here because you know academia breeds complacency--at least in the humanities. You either want to read live performance-combat, else you want to be one of the combatants. So you can be each others' enemies, but also be comrades. It makes the insurgency more effective (maximum mass-morale, etc). I think of this as a place to build mystique as well as brain-muscles.
So let's see it.
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Battle strengthens us. Not only must organisms compete for resources, so too must memes; which compete for attention and medium in the name of replication. The artist is a meme factory. How well does an artist's production stand up in this ecosystem of ideas? Like most organisms, most every artist's memes have advantages and disadvantages.
We can either spend time with the ass-kissers of the world, who have their own selfish reasons for telling us we're good, when we're really not; or we can spend time with people who want our metaphorical blood. Ideally, one should find both sets of traits in the same person; but barring that, we should have one place for our allies and another for our enemies. Well, I'm not really interested in enmity per se; but I am interested in sparring and oneupsmanship. I am interested in a type of bragging party. I want you to prepare breaths, memorize them, and then sling them. I want you to want to ruthlessly kill your weak writing traits with the help of a fellow combatant.
You are here because you know academia breeds complacency--at least in the humanities. You either want to read live performance-combat, else you want to be one of the combatants. So you can be each others' enemies, but also be comrades. It makes the insurgency more effective (maximum mass-morale, etc). I think of this as a place to build mystique as well as brain-muscles.
So let's see it.
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Saturday, February 13, 2010
What, I've gotta do everything around here? Canned Combat 2.13.2010
What are you people doing, hitting this page again and again and not writing anything? Don't be chicken. Use a nom de plume if you don't want friends finding out you like to visit fight club in your off-hours.
Today's theme is obliged sentiment. Today's News Poem was diminished because I couldn't bring myself to use a word that would bring me trouble. I've been advised I shouldn't even use the word with poisonous sarcasm, for fear of offending (although being a gadfly is basically the goal of the News Poem). For a more seasonal angle, consider the pressure of Valentine's Day. Pro forma emotions for the sake of survival--or some other reason. I don't care. It can be prose, it can be poetry, but it should be about Obliged Sentiment.
Okay, keyboards at ten paces people.
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Today's theme is obliged sentiment. Today's News Poem was diminished because I couldn't bring myself to use a word that would bring me trouble. I've been advised I shouldn't even use the word with poisonous sarcasm, for fear of offending (although being a gadfly is basically the goal of the News Poem). For a more seasonal angle, consider the pressure of Valentine's Day. Pro forma emotions for the sake of survival--or some other reason. I don't care. It can be prose, it can be poetry, but it should be about Obliged Sentiment.
Okay, keyboards at ten paces people.
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Friday, February 12, 2010
Okay, CombatWords! Revised Rules
1) Highest score wins.
2) Technical errors will be judged by the audience and confirmed by either two other posters, else me. These include, but are not restricted to: character, plot, symbolism and unintended anythings.
3) Each five spelling and grammatical errors equals a one point deduction. These must also be confirmed. Stylistic conventions should not be punished. For example: intentionally not capitalizing should not be penalized unless it wasn't effective, in which case it's a technical error, not a stylistic error.
4) Each aspect that worked in the piece gains it a point. This includes memorable sentences/lines/phrases as well as humor, well developed arguments, complex-yet-coherent thought and so forth.
5) Clock is optional. Late posts are penalized at the rate of one point per minute. Early posts get a bonus of a point per minute, capping out at 1/4 the total time allocated to compose. So for example, if the clock is set for one hour, the most points an early poster can earn are 15.
6) Highest score wins and becomes defacto champ. If you don't want your post to be used as 'Champ of the Day' let me know and I'll take it down and replace it with the runner-up.
7) These rules are continuing to evolve so disregard the prior rule variants below.
I can select a topic, or someone else can suggest one here on this thread.
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2) Technical errors will be judged by the audience and confirmed by either two other posters, else me. These include, but are not restricted to: character, plot, symbolism and unintended anythings.
3) Each five spelling and grammatical errors equals a one point deduction. These must also be confirmed. Stylistic conventions should not be punished. For example: intentionally not capitalizing should not be penalized unless it wasn't effective, in which case it's a technical error, not a stylistic error.
4) Each aspect that worked in the piece gains it a point. This includes memorable sentences/lines/phrases as well as humor, well developed arguments, complex-yet-coherent thought and so forth.
5) Clock is optional. Late posts are penalized at the rate of one point per minute. Early posts get a bonus of a point per minute, capping out at 1/4 the total time allocated to compose. So for example, if the clock is set for one hour, the most points an early poster can earn are 15.
6) Highest score wins and becomes defacto champ. If you don't want your post to be used as 'Champ of the Day' let me know and I'll take it down and replace it with the runner-up.
7) These rules are continuing to evolve so disregard the prior rule variants below.
I can select a topic, or someone else can suggest one here on this thread.
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Combatprose and Combatverse in One Spot: Here
Now you don't need to pick or feel limited. I'm going to export the content from the old sites here.
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Just Getting Warmed Up
Make this thread as chaotic as you like. I'll pull any post that steps over an extreme line, but I have a pretty strong tolerance for free speech.
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Topic, Feb 12, 2010: Fantasy Envy
Exley had Frank Gifford. Toki had his cat. Envy is not really the beginning, not the end here. It's more of a basic vicariousness... a source of voluptuous thought. Once we are finished with our jealousy, we still want to think about our subject of fixity.
Round 1: Fight!
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Round 1: Fight!
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Thursday, February 11, 2010
A different approach, Feb 11, 2010
I'm in the mood for some Mexico City Blues. I'm also in the mood for Godzilla and some wargames. So, here's my thought: the first poster on this thread can take any poem from Mexico City Blues and riff off it any way s/he chooses (but cite the inspiration). Challengers must write a riff off the same poem. Then the challenger gets to pick. By then, a mob should have formed and if they are here, the mob may choose the final poem.
Mob: please score poems with one to three stars. Then we'll tally the score and declare the champ. Come on! Let's see if we can finally get some bloodsport in here.
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Mob: please score poems with one to three stars. Then we'll tally the score and declare the champ. Come on! Let's see if we can finally get some bloodsport in here.
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Thurs, Feb 11: Scary Monsters and Super Creeps
She swung her flail to hear enemies scream,
Throwing darts and knives, you know what I mean...
Scary girlfriend! Super creeps!
I know, this is CombatProse, but an incantation was the fastest way I could think of to get you in the mood. Monsters in my opinion, aren't completely hostile. See Theodore Sturgeon's "The Professor's Teddy Bear" for the scariest stuffed animal in literature. Vampires are boring. Zombies are boring. And see my essay 'on zombies' to see the classic monster cycle play itself out: werewolf time. The point is, monsters are by their nature, mirrors--avenues to our own horrible nature. The Vampire is the obsessive-compulsive: its rituals are necessary for its very existence. The Werewolf is the savage that lurks beneath every civilized person--whose bloodletting permits the civilized person to survive in a society that represses such primal instincts. The Zombie is a nuclear-age monster: an anthropomorphization of extinction. So real monsters, fantastic monsters--I don't really care--just be creative.
Now for the second half of the kombat rules: super creeps. 'Creep' is almost like a fnord in terms of how invisible its actual meaning has become: a creep is a specific type of freak. It's used too often as a word for someone you dislike--no, The older couple with stuffed, dead corpses of once-beloved pets all over their house? Creepy. The key is eccentricity: a presumption that their actions don't deviate from the norm. Creepiness comes from a misunderstanding or misapplication of social rules and norms--as well as a lack of empathy. A 'creep' was once, I think, what people called borderline sociopaths, hermits and olde tyme mild autistics. Throw a few Ed Geins in there and you you need a word to describe the type.
So, write of scary monsters and not just any sort of creep, a super-creep.
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Throwing darts and knives, you know what I mean...
Scary girlfriend! Super creeps!
I know, this is CombatProse, but an incantation was the fastest way I could think of to get you in the mood. Monsters in my opinion, aren't completely hostile. See Theodore Sturgeon's "The Professor's Teddy Bear" for the scariest stuffed animal in literature. Vampires are boring. Zombies are boring. And see my essay 'on zombies' to see the classic monster cycle play itself out: werewolf time. The point is, monsters are by their nature, mirrors--avenues to our own horrible nature. The Vampire is the obsessive-compulsive: its rituals are necessary for its very existence. The Werewolf is the savage that lurks beneath every civilized person--whose bloodletting permits the civilized person to survive in a society that represses such primal instincts. The Zombie is a nuclear-age monster: an anthropomorphization of extinction. So real monsters, fantastic monsters--I don't really care--just be creative.
Now for the second half of the kombat rules: super creeps. 'Creep' is almost like a fnord in terms of how invisible its actual meaning has become: a creep is a specific type of freak. It's used too often as a word for someone you dislike--no, The older couple with stuffed, dead corpses of once-beloved pets all over their house? Creepy. The key is eccentricity: a presumption that their actions don't deviate from the norm. Creepiness comes from a misunderstanding or misapplication of social rules and norms--as well as a lack of empathy. A 'creep' was once, I think, what people called borderline sociopaths, hermits and olde tyme mild autistics. Throw a few Ed Geins in there and you you need a word to describe the type.
So, write of scary monsters and not just any sort of creep, a super-creep.
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Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Canned Combat, Feb 10, 2010: The Hustle
Onyx was unchallenged yesterday and wrote about being the dupe: duped by hustle. In the spirit of survival of the fittest, today's topic is 'The Hustle.' Have you Hustled anyone? I'll tell you a story to get you in the mood:
Years ago, I used to play about a dozen games of chess a day. I was probably the worst of the best players in SF, because the only places I would lose a pick-up game were 5th and Powell (home to the street-hustler) and the Mechanic's Library (home to the grandmaster). In the days before I had a profession, I worked temp-jobs. Well, one day, I needed a tie for the job and I didn't have one and didn't have the cash to get one. I had 5 bux and that usually bought a cheap tie at the dry-cleaning shops along market, but I guess I hadn't been there for a while, because it was $8. So I walked to 5th and Powell, watched the players, saw a drunk Russian and decided he was my mark. I waited for him to finish his half-pint of morning vodka (7:25am or so) and challenged him. He laughed at this nothingmaster with a cheap white shirt and plastic shoes. Aha! But this nothingmaster took his bux playing 'The Elephant' (pawn wall variant--very tricky because of the tempos involved) on his Sicilian and before his buddies could complain (5th and Powell's denizens are more like Hep C B-side gangsters than hold a gat sideways and pop a bitch gangsters, knowwatimsayin?) I ran across the street, got my tie, and headed over to the Moscone Center for some delicious, $25/hr (in 1999 $) temp money.
It's my favorite ploy: be so ridiculous that my foe doesn't take me seriously until it's too late.
What's your favorite hustle?
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Years ago, I used to play about a dozen games of chess a day. I was probably the worst of the best players in SF, because the only places I would lose a pick-up game were 5th and Powell (home to the street-hustler) and the Mechanic's Library (home to the grandmaster). In the days before I had a profession, I worked temp-jobs. Well, one day, I needed a tie for the job and I didn't have one and didn't have the cash to get one. I had 5 bux and that usually bought a cheap tie at the dry-cleaning shops along market, but I guess I hadn't been there for a while, because it was $8. So I walked to 5th and Powell, watched the players, saw a drunk Russian and decided he was my mark. I waited for him to finish his half-pint of morning vodka (7:25am or so) and challenged him. He laughed at this nothingmaster with a cheap white shirt and plastic shoes. Aha! But this nothingmaster took his bux playing 'The Elephant' (pawn wall variant--very tricky because of the tempos involved) on his Sicilian and before his buddies could complain (5th and Powell's denizens are more like Hep C B-side gangsters than hold a gat sideways and pop a bitch gangsters, knowwatimsayin?) I ran across the street, got my tie, and headed over to the Moscone Center for some delicious, $25/hr (in 1999 $) temp money.
It's my favorite ploy: be so ridiculous that my foe doesn't take me seriously until it's too late.
What's your favorite hustle?
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Monday, February 8, 2010
Combat Prose for Feb 9, 2010
Are you too trusting? I am. When the dupe is you, how do you handle it?
I'll keep issuing topics until I see some traction here.
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I'll keep issuing topics until I see some traction here.
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Canned Combat, Feb 9, 2010
It's early, but here's today's canned combat:
-trochaic quadrameter
-any rhyme scheme, but no blank verse
-Any ol' topic. Let's see you folks warm up.
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-trochaic quadrameter
-any rhyme scheme, but no blank verse
-Any ol' topic. Let's see you folks warm up.
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Canned Topic, Feb 8, 2010
Write about someone who died with poignant compassion. I'll start.
I wrote a nasty, backhanded comment on a former colleague's obit website. She lied, cheated and stole, but she did it with the sad innocence of the fat girl who has to go home to an abusive household every day. If she didn't destroy so many people in the name of greed, I wouldn't have said anything. Instead, I said that people who knew her would never forget her. People who don't know me well thought it was such a warmhearted thing to say. Someone who knows me very well called me to say I'm a total bastard--while laughing. That was a strange phone-call. "The only winner here is her widower." "You're terrible. She has a three year old son." "Come on, it's not like the kid's nanny died." "'They'll never forget her!' I can't believe you wrote that!" "Everybody is talking about how tragic this is for the kid. What about the kids of all those people she ruined?" "..." "Yeah! That's right, you don't see them learning to crawl around our office." "Stop it. I feel guilty for laughing."
People I knew started dying after that. God's a fucking joker like that. The first grown-up death's funny; know what I mean? She drank herself to death at the age of 37, hardee har, har. Well, I just finished assembling God's secret code from stray letters in the National Enquirer and he assures me every and all future deaths I encounter will be just as funny to someone who hates the people I love, as I found my ex-colleague's to be.
--
Come on, prose isn't even my thing. Someone should be able to stomp this piece. Let's see what you've got?
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I wrote a nasty, backhanded comment on a former colleague's obit website. She lied, cheated and stole, but she did it with the sad innocence of the fat girl who has to go home to an abusive household every day. If she didn't destroy so many people in the name of greed, I wouldn't have said anything. Instead, I said that people who knew her would never forget her. People who don't know me well thought it was such a warmhearted thing to say. Someone who knows me very well called me to say I'm a total bastard--while laughing. That was a strange phone-call. "The only winner here is her widower." "You're terrible. She has a three year old son." "Come on, it's not like the kid's nanny died." "'They'll never forget her!' I can't believe you wrote that!" "Everybody is talking about how tragic this is for the kid. What about the kids of all those people she ruined?" "..." "Yeah! That's right, you don't see them learning to crawl around our office." "Stop it. I feel guilty for laughing."
People I knew started dying after that. God's a fucking joker like that. The first grown-up death's funny; know what I mean? She drank herself to death at the age of 37, hardee har, har. Well, I just finished assembling God's secret code from stray letters in the National Enquirer and he assures me every and all future deaths I encounter will be just as funny to someone who hates the people I love, as I found my ex-colleague's to be.
--
Come on, prose isn't even my thing. Someone should be able to stomp this piece. Let's see what you've got?
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Canned Topic
A specific type of idiot. Just someone you can't stand. But let's see if you get anywhere with the verse: can you do more than obsess over the thing you hate? I'm not going to write verse here: you know I can do it. I want to see if you can do it.
You're not going to get stronger by being chicken. Let's see some kombat!
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You're not going to get stronger by being chicken. Let's see some kombat!
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Sunday, February 7, 2010
The Rules for CombatVerse!
1) Challenger picks time and tempo between posts.
2) Defender gets to pick meter and topic.
3) Challenger must then copy meter and stay on topic.
4) Scoring:
a) Points:
i) If there's meter, each time the meter is off, -1. Someone who completely ruins a line of scanning could lose -10 if she or he ruined all 10 beats.
ii) Every off-topic sentence, line, clause, or other unit of thought loses a point.
b) Gambits: Introduced conceits, symbols, narratives and turns of phrase are the only ones I can think of now. Each gambit is worth 10 points.
c) Audience: Audience members can use a single vote to add or subtract a point from a poem. This helps mitigate the objective metrics used for the game.
5) Time: Compositions are due at time. There is a 1 point deduction per minute the composition is late.
Not only is this a fun game that we used to play informally on craigslist litfo, but it will sharpen your chops too. Have fun!
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2) Defender gets to pick meter and topic.
3) Challenger must then copy meter and stay on topic.
4) Scoring:
a) Points:
i) If there's meter, each time the meter is off, -1. Someone who completely ruins a line of scanning could lose -10 if she or he ruined all 10 beats.
ii) Every off-topic sentence, line, clause, or other unit of thought loses a point.
b) Gambits: Introduced conceits, symbols, narratives and turns of phrase are the only ones I can think of now. Each gambit is worth 10 points.
c) Audience: Audience members can use a single vote to add or subtract a point from a poem. This helps mitigate the objective metrics used for the game.
5) Time: Compositions are due at time. There is a 1 point deduction per minute the composition is late.
Not only is this a fun game that we used to play informally on craigslist litfo, but it will sharpen your chops too. Have fun!
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Feb 7, 2010 CombatProseThread
Go for it. Month's winner will get a cash prize if it's legal and feasible.
I'm not sure you have to register to play actually. I think you can just do it anon.
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I'm not sure you have to register to play actually. I think you can just do it anon.
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The Rules for CombatProse!
King of the Hill rules. Best writer gets the most unique nods by separate handles, which is why you must register for CombatProse! I think I'll issue an award to the month's winner. Previous day's champion is the next day's champion by default. Votes only count the day of the competition. I am in the early stages of the logistics on this, but I think this is promising. If there is a question of sockpuppetry, I'll have both parties contact me at the same time in such a manner I can ensure they're separate individuals.
Time stamps are important here. Also, this isn't craigslist or any other forum. You can not just gloat or cry, but win or lose.
Round 1, FIGHT!
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Time stamps are important here. Also, this isn't craigslist or any other forum. You can not just gloat or cry, but win or lose.
Round 1, FIGHT!
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