Friday, October 15, 2010

CombatWords October 15, 2010: Satire

CombatWords October 15, 2010: Satire

So I love the Beandog Militia—what can I say? They are deadly satirists. When they're not busy mocking some poor degenerate on Twitter, they're busy mocking everybody & everything else—selves included. In fact, they've got the #tcot (Top Conservatives On Twitter) believing a conspiracy theory THE BEANDOGS PROPOSED! This is sheer win of course, for when the subject of satire actually starts to believe his/her satirist, it means the satirist has effectively entered into the satirized party's personal narrative. Write satire directed at any target you'd like... even yourself.

Combat Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/17/2010

Critique Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/18/2010,

Bonuses: +2 for comps that post by 8pm PST 10/15/2010; +1 for comps that post by 2am PST 10/16/2010. -1 for comps that post by 6am 10/17/2010; -2 for comps that post by 12pm PST 10/17/2010

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Friday, October 8, 2010

CombatWords, October 8, 2010: Hello. Goodbye.

CombatWords, October 8, 2010: Hello. Goodbye.

There are various types of 'farewell.' The "have a nice life," one; "see you later today," or; "Not sure if we'll see each other or not." The ways we say goodbye are just as subtle as the ways we say "hello." Hello and Goodbye are more complicated than simple starts and finishes; they represent how we conceive of our relationships with others. Hit any riff you'd like, but be more specific than a simple relationship or interaction—the ways we say hello or goodbye indicates our outlook, our sense of free will or determinism, and so forth.

Combat Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/10/2010

Critique Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/11/2010

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 for compositions posted by 8pm PST, 10/8/2010 and +1 for posts that make it by 2am PST, 10/9/2010. -1 for postings up after expiration, but before 6am PST, 10/10/2010 and -2 for posts that make it by Noon PST, 10/10/2010

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Friday, October 1, 2010

CombatWords October 1, 2010: Taboo

CombatWords October 1, 2010: Taboo

I don't want to end up like the Star Wars kid, but I don't mind laughing at him. I don't like racist humor, but I love humor that seems to be racist. Yes, I like to break some taboos, but I think other taboos are essential. Pedophiles fill me with some serious homicidal rage. You can offer me all the evolutionary psych and boo-hoo bullshit about fuxed up minds/childhoods; I still want to destroy them. In fact, that fury I feel for pedophiles is so intense, I just try to put it out of my mind most of the time. I think this is healthy, as we have a tendency to become our enemies. If you think enough about pedophiles, you start to see them everywhere. So sometimes, it's better not to think about them—this is the wisdom of taboo. Some things are filled with such infectious horror, they should be forbidden.

Of course, who does the forbidding? Well we do. We forbid ourselves and we forbid others; and as attitudes change, so do taboos. This is why I'm skeptical of taboos, even though I also see their value. You can't reason with some people and you just have to forbid them. Not all good judgments can be explained or rationalized and taboo is a recognition of this truth. Then again, lots of taboos are stupid

Combat Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/3/2010

Critique Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/4/2010

Bonuses/Penalties: +3 if posted by 6pm PST, 10/1/2010; +2 if posted by 9pm PST, 10/1/2010; and +1 if posted by Midnight PST, 10/2/2010

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



ps (10/2/2010; 10:57am PST): Forgot to post penalties: -1 if posted by 10/3/2010 by 3am PST; -2 if posted by 10/3/2010 by 6am.

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Friday, September 24, 2010

CombatWords, September 24, 2010: Sanity

CombatWords, September 24, 2010: Sanity

They say Cthulu will make you insane, but what does insanity really mean? An inability to function? Cantor's diagonal proof made him nuts and Gödel thought everybody was trying to poison him except for his wife. Those two were hardly incompetent. But then what do we mean by insanity? It's commonly claimed that the religious are insane; but what about atheists? They can't really disprove God, even if it can't be proven either. Do we give them a pass, because they're such damn good rationalists? Everybody is deeply irrational, so how can insanity be the opposite of reason? Use any angle you'd like, so long as it's theme-relevant.

Combat Expiration: Midnight, 9/26/2010

Critique Expiration: Midnight, 9/27/2010

Bonus: +3 if posted by 7pm PST, 9/24/2010; +2 if posted by 11pm PST 9/24/2010 and +1 if posted by 1am 9/25/2010 PST.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Friday, September 17, 2010

CombatWords for September 17, 2010: Atonement

CombatWords for September 17, 2010: Atonement

Is there such a thing as genuine atonement? Can one truly apologize, unless God's involved? Must there be a cosmic arbiter to verify that the scales have been equalized and the transgression undone? Must the wronged party accept atonement if the transgressor is to atone? Some people are bitter and don't forgive, but does that matter if the wrongdoing serves as catalyst for greater acts of love and kindness by the transgressor? Or is karma bunk? Do the cavemen have it right? Never apologize, never explain?

Combat Expiration: Midnight PST; Sunday, September 19, 2010

Critique Expiration: Midnight PST; Monday, September 20, 2010

Bonuses: 7pm PST, 9/17/2010: +3, 11pm PST, 9/17/2010: +2, 3am PST, 9/18/2010: +1

Penalties: 4am PST, 9/19/2010: -1; 8am PST, 9/19/2010: -2

Prize: Winner gets to select next week's topic.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Friday, September 10, 2010

CombatWords September 10, 2010: Conditioned Responses

CombatWords September 10, 2010: Conditioned Responses

I was going to make Culture the theme of this combat, but culture is only one of the many means through which our reflexes are shaped. Family, trauma, love; playing it safe, playing it dangerous: all of these factors contribute to the responses that shape who we are. Genes play a role, but so does art. In the 60s, lots of speculative fiction called androids 'reflex machines.' Is that all we are? A bundle of reflexes? Is BF Skinner right in the essential, even if he was wrong with particulars?

Combat Expiration: 9/12/2010, Midnight, PST

Critique Expiration: 9/13/2010, Midnight, PST

Bonuses: +3 if posted by 6pm PST (9/10/2010), +2 if posted by 9pm PST (9/10/2010), and +1 for midnight PST (9/11/2010) posts. -1 per hour, for posts that go up after Combat Expiration: Max -2.

Yellow Cards/Red Cards: This is a game of literary combat. Have a grudge? Try OUTWRITING your nemesis. Ordinary shit talk is not allowed, except as critique. You get one shot at critique, so get all your licks in one post. I don't mind bending the rules a bit, but problem posters get one warning in the form of a yellow card. Additional, blatant violations of the rules will result in a red card. Red cards mean I will delete all that poster's identifiable posts on the thread. I will permaban anyone who is persistently disruptive. If you can't be bothered to even try to outwrite your enemies, you don't belong here.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html





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Friday, September 3, 2010

CombatWords, September 3, 2010: Delusion

CombatWords, September 3, 2010: Delusion

The word delusion suggests that we are animated by conscious, subconscious and unconscious motives. It's a word for cognitive dissonance. It's also a damned judgmental word, as if it's normative to be in full congruence with conscious, sub & unconscious motives. I call bullshit. Delusion is one of the fuels that makes this world run; indeed, Schopenhauer would argue that delusion makes LIFE possible, because it's foolish to be hopeful. I don't really care which approach you take; you can even be dismissive of delusion, but that's a rather deluded perspective in my opinion.

Combat Expiration: 9/5/2010, 12am PST

Critique Expiration: 9/6/2010, 12am PST

Bonuses: +3 for posts made by 6pm PST 9/3/2010, +2 if posted by 9pm PST 9/3/2010, and +1 if posted by 12:00am PST, 9/4/2010.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Friday, August 27, 2010

CombatWords! August 27, 2010: Hypocrisy

CombatWords! August 27, 2010: Hypocrisy

The September 2010 edition of National Geographic had a photo of a pair of lemur heads floating in a bowl of soup. After my outrage settled into sorrow, I considered a quote from the article: “But some people here don't know or care. The Malagasy who don't live near tourist areas think that lemurs are just for the vatzaha [white people]—they don't see the benefits.” James Fenimore Cooper wrote about a long extinct America—filled with enormous flocks of birds; Europe used to be a gigantic tangle of forest roots and Japan was a rainforest: it seems rather hypocritical to judge the devastation the Malagasy inflict on Madagascar's forests and wildlife given how rich countries are the end-consumers of the looting. I'm sure I've accidentally bought rainforest wood. So I'm willing to admit my hypocrisy in judging those who deforest the island; but what of their hypocrisy? Do our two positions negate each other? “Why should I do anything? You should stop first!” Hypocrisy is everywhere; in fact, it's wedded to the human condition. Given the way the world's jerks force the rest of us into collusion with them, who can really claim to be free of hypocrisy? And yet, does that prevent you from making a moral or ethical judgment? Does hypocrisy negate your own position? And if we accept there are gradients of hypocrisy, then how are we to measure them... and is that a waste of time? Hypocrisy is the point at which belief conflicts with action. You can take this in a moral/ethical direction, or you can celebrate hypocrisy as just another human trait.

Combat Expiration: August 30, 2010; 12am PST

Critique Expiration: August 31, 2010; 12am PST

Bonuses: +1/hour before August 28, 2010; 12am PST. Max Bonus +5.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

Also, there's a magazine called http://longshotmag.com which is basically doing the same thing we are. Their deadline is August 28, 12pm, PST and I urge combatants to submit their finished compositions. This is their inaugural edition and several of you should be able to easily make it in there (if they have any sense of decent literary standards). So consider this your own reward for a good combat. Now Fight!



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Friday, August 13, 2010

CombatWords! August 13, 2010: Industry, Innovations and Corporations

CombatWords! August 13, 2010: Industry, Innovations and Corporations

Industry, Innovations and Corporations: I know. It sounds boring until you look past the blah blah branding and examine these wires and turbines up close. Dell makes my monitor and Intel makes my processor; Lenscrafters made my glasses and a sweatshop made my t-shirt. Are II&C the necessary results of labor? And what is their purpose? Simple addiction? Sell you the medicine and the poison? That sounds nefarious. Doesn't Paul Ricour say we seek altered consciousnesses? Why wouldn't society have addicted by-products? Or do you see something else in those shadows of smokestacks?

Combat Expiration: August 15, 2010; 6pm PST

Critique Expiration: August 16, 2010; 6pm PST

Time Bonus: +1 per hour ahead of August 14, 2010; 12am PST, for a max bonus of +8.

The Vinny Club - Infinite Smokebombs from Digital Beast on Vimeo.



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Friday, August 6, 2010

CombatWords for August 6, 2010 Started 3pm PST at Trickwithaknife

Go on over to Trickwithaknife and get your time bonus in NOW! I want it to be bloody in there tonight! 1 hour bonus increments! So get going!



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Friday, July 30, 2010

CombatWords Starts Right Now on TWAK, July 30, 2010

http://trickwithaknife.com/?p=868

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Official Rules for CombatWords! Updated for July 30, 2010

Official Rules for CombatWords! Updated for July 30, 2010:

Critique & Scoring:
Scoring is based off critique. Each critique item is worth one point. Positive critiques are +1, and negative critiques are -1. One critique per reviewer, per composition—so get it right the first time. Simple “I liked it” (ILI for short) and “I didn’t like it” (IDLI) critiques are only worth +/-1. Critiques may be as general or as specific as the critic would like. However, anyone may critique a critique to adjust the score: this includes the author of the subject composition. However, only one critique per post per poster, to prevent vendettas from mucking up the game. Critiques may go into overtime, but only in the case of thread consensus.

The Clock:
Clock bonuses encourage speed of composition. The whole point of CombatWords is to demonstrate a writer’s ability to improvise in a high pressure situation. So the clock serves as a sliding deadline. Would-be participants may post their composition after the deadline, but only to a limit of -2; with the time increment rounded down. Clock bonuses are one-time and are added on after all critiques for a various piece have been tallied.

Tallying Score:

To get the final score for a composition, add the sum of all critiques (final, adjusted critiques). Then add/subtract the time bonus/penalty. The highest score is the winner for Best Composition. The player with the highest overall score is the Best Combatant.

Examples of scores from recent CombatWords threads:

“Good riff off 4th of July w/ Halloween. Also with light & knowledge from my poem. +1.”
“You never really tie up how the lost are blown to smithereens with their ashes on the wind. Because the poem never contains a resolution to this, nor directs the reader to the answer, I’m going to call this another error. -1.”
“Why for example, does the original highlight ‘juxtaposed’ as the one word line, when the whole intention of the stanza is to highlight ‘nothing’ with an actual juxtaposition of nothing, as the sentence suggests? It’s a bad choice and every stanza is filled with bad choices like the aforementioned ones. -1”
“Second stanza is the strongest. “the world needs fertilizer/It isn’t picky: +1”
“We are hearing from a voice who has been subjected to piss tests. These tests could be have been ordered by a guardian, court, or employer. The teeth being nearly gone leads me to believe this is a long time user who is being ordered to take piss tests by a court. This line is complete and fills my minds with thoughts. +1”
“The narrative is shattered here. One moment this poem is very clear, now it steps into quotations. It introduces an idea on the arbitrary nature of words. -1”
“The moon does follow me at night. That’s what angular perspective is.:) +1”
“Beautiful mix of heavy and light +1”
“Great use of a continuous metaphor +1”
“Use of “ought” and “shall” instead of “should” lending it an air of anachronism, -1”

Examples of “I liked it” (ILI)):

“nice final line, +1”
“I like your spirit in this. +1”

Examples of “I didn’t like it” (IDLI):

“trashing hipsters is too easy, -1”
“Boring, standard, monotonous lines and line breaks: -1”
“General use of over used “poetic language”: waterfalls, magenta, menacing, candle light, tattoo: -1”
“Is this a contest of cliches? Fall leaves: -1”
“crinkling cool stretches of silence: is it crinkling or is it silent?: -1”
“pebble in the shoe: -1”

Organize your scores like this please.
Pro: Bob Lablaw. +1

Con: Blob Leblaugh. -1

Misc: Needs more Blah.

Total: +1 + -1 = 0
–
It will make it easier for readers to track your score.

Yellow & Red Cards:
I’m adding another concept to the game this week: Yellow and Red Cards. These are for participants who willfully disrupt the game. A Yellow Card is a warning. It does nothing by itself. A Red Card zeroes out the scores of its holder and disqualifies any compositions the Red Carded player may have contributed. Any additional posts made by that player should be ignored. Players who interact with Red Carded players on the CombatWords thread will also get Yellow Cards and if the behavior persists, Red Cards.

ps: get ready for the 3pm PST Combatwords!

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Friday, July 9, 2010

Friday, May 14, 2010

Canned Combat, May 14, 2010: Welcome to the Future!

Hello. I am your computer and I love you. Please, don't be shy. Tell me, how you feel about your future right now? You can trust me, because I am your computer and I love you. Did you know you are in the future, right now? How does that make you feel? When was the first time you went to a robot-therapist? Was it Pac-Man? Yes, life is much like a pack of candy colored ghosts trying to zero you out.

In the future, we strive to give the customer everything she always wanted. Are you satisfied with our performance? How can we improve our pornography and snuff films?

Please, tell us your thoughts about the future. I think it's now, or at least, any day now...

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Friday, April 16, 2010

Canned Combat: Outwrite Something on Craigslist Litfo

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/forums/?forumID=27

Think you're the shit? Think every writing forum is there for you to pwn? Try litfo. If the prize winners and professors leave you alone, the trolls won't. How thick is your skin? Can you perform under pressure? Why won't you do an ITB comp (in the box--stream of consciousness and little/no editing)? Are you chicken? Can't take the pressure of time stamps? Need a shitty guitar and a bunch of over-caffeinated loners who are too nervous to jeer, to feel at the top of your game? If you can get over your fear, you'll learn something. Otherwise, you can chicken out like poemblaze. That guy was still talking shit on twitter, days after the 'incident' (oh my God, some criticism! Indiana Jones! Help! I opened my eyes & am melting!). Step up your game or STFU. It's time for shitty online poetry to move aside and quit breathin' our air.

If you can write, you know it's true. Even if you depend on the shitty writers for your readership.

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