Combatwords, May 27, 2011: Frauds, Forgeries, Disguises and Impersonations

Combatwords, May 27, 2011: Frauds, Forgeries, Disguises and Impersonations

Before we can be, we must impersonate being. You wanted to grow up, so you drank that bottle, smoked that pack, filled that womb; cashed that check, wore that suit, inked that notebook, claimed the way was past the gas station—no, the other gas station—whatever. What's wrong with you? Why the small disguises? You could have impersonated an heir to the Xanax fortune, but instead you played it safe. Instead of claiming your own writing, you could have hyped your notebook as the next Voynich manuscript. You fool, you fool.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 5/30/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST 5/31/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted before 6pm PST 5/27/2011, +1 if posted before 12am PST 5/28/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 5/31/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 5/31/2011



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Combatwords May 6, 2011: Freeway

Combatwords May 6, 2011: Freeway

Ribbons of meet on the static-yet-mobile palace of traction. Your religion is auto, or stick-shift; it's speed and it's trap and it's an exploration of the already explored.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 5/9/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 5/11/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 5/6/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 5/7/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 5/9/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 5/9/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords April 29, 2011: The Ancestors

Combatwords April 29, 2011: The Ancestors

The ancestors hate you. Caveman great grandpa x 100 says "When I was your age, I'd already killed a dozen men for their flocks of sheep." Victorian grandpa says, "With so many opportunities for profit, I can't believe you are descended from my loins." Ancient Egyptian grandmother says "You could have married for love, but didn't love anyone? Boo-hoo!" Yes, the ancestors hate you.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 5/2/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 5/4/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 4/29/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 4/30/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 5/2/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 5/2/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, April 22, 2011: Declared and Undeclared Malice

Combatwords, April 22, 2011: Declared and Undeclared Malice

I'm considered a malicious guy and I'm fine with that. My malice is well considered rejectionism. Why not? There are outrages everywhere. Does this mean I have a thin skin, or does it mean that most people have no moral compass? I say it's both. We live in a vile civilization that glamorizes power and yet, isolates us as individuals; thus encouraging people to objectify others. Isn't that fucked up? To seek power over those who appear to be little more than cartoons? Why shouldn't I hate that? And if I choose to be a hater, what's wrong with that? Those who label me thusly, what are you suggesting? That one shouldn't be outraged? That one should just stfu and tend one's garden? I oppose that on principle. Principle: the source and solution of and to my malice. Fucks are deaf and blind to good deeds and appeals for goodness—but by definition, fucks are very sensitive to the malice of others. So I'm proud of my malice. At least I declare it and it's not like I'm a Joan Rivers or Perez Hilton, using my malice against other, basically vapid enterprises. And the worst of course are the malicious who can actually argue with a straight face that they are not acting on hatred, but are rather acting on an impulse of love and compassion. These people should be murdered.

Free-for-all rules apply for this combat, which means if you don't like the main topic, go and riff off another combatant's composition.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 4/25/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 4/27/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 4/22/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 4/23/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 4/25/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 4/25/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords, April 8, 2011: Spring

Combatwords, April 8, 2011: Spring

It's Spring. Do your thing.

Free-for-all rules apply for this combat, which means if you don't like the main topic, go and riff off another combatant's composition.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 4/11/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 4/13/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 4/8/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 4/9/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 4/11/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 4/11/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, April 1, 2011: Nostalgia

Combatwords, April 1, 2011: Nostalgia

I read somewhere that nostalgia is a weapon. Maybe I inferred that. Does it matter? Think about it: a whimsical craving for the past poisons one's present and makes one vulnerable to appeals to 'return to the past.' Politics is only one angle—art does the same thing. Perhaps they intersect, as Kundera suggested, in the form of kitsch? And if nostalgia is the past and kitsch is the present, then what is the future but fantasy? A realm that never connects to our present—a floating point that is always somewhere beyond the not-quite-obtainable near-future. So even if nobody said nostalgia is a weapon, that's one of my takes on it. You probably have a different one.

Free-for-all rules apply for this combat, which means if you don't like the main topic, go and riff off another combatant's composition.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 4/4/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 4/6/2011, with a rolling grace period of 24 hours to allow for critique rebuttals. Addendum: Based off the LAST critique in the thread.

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 4/1/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 4/2/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 4/4/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 4/4/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords March 25, 2011: Hooray For Dystopia

Combatwords March 25, 2011: Hooray For Dystopia

Yes, I know this is a rehash of a #Combatprose (RIP) topic, but nobody here played that game. Besides, dystopia is terrific and always deserves reexamination: drive thru prayer and rubber porn star fuck toys are only part of what makes it so weird. Robo-traders flash crash markets sending millions into poverty and starvation and the powers that be say, 'ha ha, tough shit. That's the market in action baby!' But only recently have we seen the true face of mechanized degeneracy: the heirs are losing the technology of their fathers and mothers. Nuclear power plants run on Indian engineers who will have computer scientist children. The devolution is complete when the grandchild is a poet, writer or artist-type. Some say we will be the most literate stone-age people ever, some day. I prefer to think of ourselves and this age as the last of the screaming flesh before we fuse with machines and become even greater prosthetic gods.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 3/28/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 3/30/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 3/25/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 3/26/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 3/28/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 3/28/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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[Combatwords, March 18, 2011] End of an Era

[Combatwords, March 18, 2011] End of an Era

When the Han Dynasty collapsed an age of trade made way for an age of war. It was even worse in Europe when the Roman Empire collapsed: the culture was utterly destroyed. When Franz-Ferdinand was assassinated it started the end of 400 years of European imperialism. When I traded my bicycle & New York lock for a suit and tie, it was the end of an era too. The idea of 'transition' is too gentle—it implies that with an end there is a beginning. There is doubt embedded in the idea of an 'end of an era.' Obviously the Japanese earthquake, tsunami and nuclear crisis suggest that this era is ending too.



ps: I'm only giving you 3 hours to get a +2 bonus.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 3/21/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 3/23/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 3pm PST, 3/18/2011, +1 if posted by 12am PST 3/19/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 3/21/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 3/21/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, March 11, 2011: Reversal

Combatwords, March 11, 2011: Reversal

In empty-hand Aikido, one facilitates the momentum of an attacker to defend one's self. A few slight movements change a punch into a fist-led flip. Most people in the West consider Aikido to be a purely defensive martial art, which must surprise the hell out of those who practice the form with a sword. A sword you ask? Yes. The very same motions which can be used empty-handed to aid the momentum of one's attacker can be used to strike and parry with a sword. So contemplate that, while you GRAB MY WRIST*!

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 3/14/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 3/16/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 3/11/2011, +1 if posted by 12am PST 3/12/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 3/14/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 3/14/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html





*How aggressive Aikido masters challenge people to a fight

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Combatwords, March 4, 2011: Randomness

Combatwords, March 4, 2011: Randomness

Some of you probably believe in fate, but it often seems that things in life happen randomly. Someone caught a bullet in Germany, someone else got hit by a car crossing the street and ended up marrying the driver. Elsewhere, an elderly couple wins the lottery jackpot, after playing every week for twenty years, while their neighbours lose yet again. The topic for this week's combat is randomness, chance and how it plays out in life. Were you late and missed the terrorist attack? Or did you get off the bus one stop early and found a tenner? It's all random.

-Anton Gourman wrote this week's Combatwords topic, as is the prerogative of the winner of the prior combat.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 3/7/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 3/9/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 3/4/2011, +1 if posted by 12am PST 3/5/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 3/7/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 3/7/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, February 25, 2011: Friendship. Friendship?

Combatwords, February 25, 2011: Friendship. Friendship?

We pour into friends a portion of our identities. We also receive some of their identities. In so doing, we are transformed and preserved at the same time. We have dear, but awkward friends; secret friends—some have no friends and are internally sterile and stagnant. Are we social animals, in need of this exchange, or can you really be an island if you want to be one?

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 2/28/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 3/2/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST, 2/25/2011, +1 if posted by 12am PST 2/26/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 2/28/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 2/28/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords, February 18, 2011: Adventure, Chance, and Risk

Combatwords, February 18, 2011: Adventure, Chance, and Risk

I crave adventure in my bones, but I receive it in my mind. I am safer and less traveled as a result. I'm extremely wary of a single expedition causing my total ruin, but I take little risks. We all do don't we? To live is to risk. The best we can hope for is to manage our risk. When we increase our risk, we're taking a chance; for risk is exposure to the odds of negative contingency. While I may want to take a road trip to discover something novel, I have far stronger urges to stay with what I know: a job, a news poem... whatever. So I adventure in my mind; I use paper, computer, or even a vista. I have a favorite place in San Francisco; I can see most of the city. I imagine when the hill was born and what animal first appreciated the view. I consider the first humans who watched the Pacific pass through the Golden Gate and then the Spaniards who wandered to the wrong side of the peninsula. Finally, I consider the first American to look out from that vista. There are so many stories to explore in each of these thoughts—and the vista is so fine that it's an adventure for my eyes—I do not feel a genuine need for adventure. I can roam with my mind and leave others with the risks.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 2/21/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 2/23/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: **New** +1 for 1st post, +1 for post with the most individual comments, +2 if posted by 7pm PST, 2/18/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 2/19/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 2/21/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 2/21/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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CombatWords February 11, 2011: Sales, Commerce and the People Who Love Them

CombatWords February 11, 2011: Sales, Commerce and the People Who Love Them

A salesman is an it that stinks excuse, right? Nobody likes 'em, but everybody buys from them. Makes one rather suspicious of whether people dislike transacting as much as they say they do, doesn't it? I for one can't help but think that were it not for the liars, sales would be one of the most esteemed professions—at least in America. Would I be going too far if I said, 'fuck your anti-sales attitude?' Maybe not. Look around. You love your bookseller, your wine shop (YUPPIE!)... and yes, you love your lawyer if s/he kicks ass. Same with your accountant. Society's material nature conforms to the way we allocate the fruits of our labors. I think of it as a Kantian proposition: you universalize your values—if the world is cluttered with commerce, it is only because you are cluttered with commerce.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 2/14/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 2/16/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 8pm PST, 2/11/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 2/12/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 2/14/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 2/14/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, February 4, 2011: Mischief

Combatwords, February 4, 2011: Mischief

Mischief seems to connote some minor form of playful antagonism. Yet the word also connotes evil and devilishness, so it's a term rooted in worldview. To the Devil, all mortals are trifles—little playthings to be damned and discarded. It's a label used on children—what, to imply that they're little devils? So embedded in the word is a whole worldview.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 2/7/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 2/9/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +3 if posted by 6pm PST, 2/4/2011, +2 if posted by 10pm PST 2/4/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 2/5/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 2/7/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 2/7/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html




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Combatwords, January 28, 2011: Waiting For Better Options

Combatwords, January 28, 2011: Waiting For Better Options

I was in the bank today (what, you think poets are banned from entering?) and there was a cute late 20something woman opening an account. She had dyed red hair and a black Oaksterdam University sweatshirt. She took a few looks at me when I wasn't looking & I did the same. When it was my turn, I got the cute teller; a recent college grad. A lithe 1st generation American of Russian origin. We started flirting too. I was terrible today. Anyhow, being the neurotic piece of shit that I am, when she asked me what I was doing this weekend, I said I was working (true, true) and didn't ask her out as she expected. She even fanned out her fingers a few times, as if to prove she wasn't engaged or married. I thought, 'this nice young woman has no clue what a maniac I am, it wouldn't work out between us.' So I kept flirting with her, but really wanted to hit on the stoner redhead. BUT the redhead left before I was done with my transaction. I figured, 'if she really likes me, she'll slowly walk down the street and I might be able to catch up to her and say hi after I leave the bank.' No such luck. Or maybe it's perfect luck, since I am a neurotic mess. So instead of taking the simple and obvious option of having some fun this weekend with some ex-teenage ballerina type, I waited for the weirder, freakier option that never came. But hey, it's ok! The world's overpopulated anyhow; and besides, somebody has to run Combatwords!

So yeah, write about waiting for better options.

ps: or if you prefer, write about your own pathetic dating/luv life.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 1/31/2011

*NEW* Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 2/2/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 10pm PST, 1/28/2011, +1 if posted by 3am PST 1/29/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 1/31/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 1/31/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords January 21, 2011: Simpletons

Combatwords January 21, 2011: Simpletons

Not all simpletons are stupidtons. I know this because I'm a connoisseur of genius. I enjoy the scatterbrains, hardasses, high performing genius, but actually despise one category: the simpletons. These are the people who run cutting edge research labs, dominate business in your area, teach school to children—simpletons aren't inherently dangerous, but when society uses them improperly, disaster is not far away. Life is complicated, but they seek to apply Occam's Razor like it was the latest Gospel of Jesus. So pick a simpleton, write about one, their origins; whatever.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 1/24/2011

*NEW* Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 1/26/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 9pm PST, 1/21/2011, +1 if posted by 12am PST 1/22/2011, -1 if posted by 6am PST 1/24/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 1/24/2011.

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

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Combatwords, Friday January 14, 2011: Identity and Reality

Combatwords, Friday January 14, 2011: Identity and Reality

We take many shapes and forms. There is the known self, the unknown self; the self others see in us and the identity we see in the other. Philip K Dick was concerned that real wasn't as real as it used to be (rather, that he was not as sane as he used to be...). If we can't know our selves, then how can we know others, much less the reality that surrounds us all?

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 1/17/2011
Critique Expiration: 12pm PST, 1/18/2011
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 7pm PST 1/14/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 1/15/2011, -1 if posted by 6am 1/17/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm 1/17/2011.
The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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CombatWords, January 7, 2011: Splitting Hairs

CombatWords, January 7, 2011: Splitting Hairs

I think the whole notion is ludicrous. When I'm accused of splitting hairs, I just take it to mean that my accuser can't keep up and fails to see the significance of the proffered posit. But maybe s/he's not an idiot and maybe I'm wrong and maybe—just maybe—I attach too much meaning to subtlety.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 1/10/2011
Critique Expiration: 12pm PST, 1/11/2011
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST 1/7/2011, +1 if posted by 2am PST 1/8/2011, -1 if posted by 6am 1/10/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm 1/10/2011.
The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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Combatwords, December 31, 2010: New Year, Old Year

Combatwords, December 31, 2010: New Year, Old Year

Hey man, did you know that time, is like, arbitrary? We're like all here right now. There's no tomorrow, there's no yesterday, there's like, just today man. Like, time is just a human invention dude. Could you do me a favor and pass me the bong again?

Combat Expiration: 12am PST 1/3/2011

Critique Expiration: 12am PST 1/4/2011

Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 5pm PST 12/31/2010, +1 if posted by 12am PST 1/1/2011; -1 if posted by 6am 1/3/2011, -2 if posted by 12pm 1/3/2011

The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html

ps: Everybody has been slacking on the score lately—self included. I'm going to aggressively score this week's combat, so you'd better too, unless you want my taste to determine the winner.



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CombatWords, December 24, 2010: Holiday

CombatWords, December 24, 2010: Holiday

Here's a funny one I heard on Twitter: "Happy Holidays!" "Fuck you, we don't celebrate 'holiday' in America. Merry Christmas!" Pick a holiday—it doesn't have to be Christmas.

Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 12/27/2010
Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 12/29/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 10pm PST 12/24/2010, +1 if posted by 3am PST 12/25/2010, -1 if posted by 6am PST 12/27/2010, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 12/27/2010
Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html



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