Here's a funny one I heard on Twitter: "Happy Holidays!" "Fuck you, we don't celebrate 'holiday' in America. Merry Christmas!" Pick a holiday—it doesn't have to be Christmas.
Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 12/27/2010
Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 12/29/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 10pm PST 12/24/2010, +1 if posted by 3am PST 12/25/2010, -1 if posted by 6am PST 12/27/2010, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 12/27/2010
Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html
Combatwords December 17, 2010: It's For Your Own Good
Because you do not know what is good for you and because I am feeling tremendous compassion for you, I'm going to trick you and lie to you and I don't care if you'll hate me forever when you find out it was me—it's for your own good.
Because you do not understand that those new business partners are sharks and vampires who are going to drain your blood and make you the patsy for their scam, I am going to sabotage your work and secretly undermine you to mask your delicious scent.
Because you do not understand the power of images and symbols, because you do not understand how they compel you, because you do not see the difference between you and your God, I'm going to bully you into proper conduct.
Why? Because it's all for your own good. I don't care about what's good for me. I am filled with agape with you as my center. I understand that by interfering, I become a focus of blame—if not scapegoat. Although the price is expensive, I do these things because I love you—and true love is difficult and sometimes unrequited. And I don't really want your love anyhow you idiot. Look at everything I have to do for your own good!
Combat Expiration: 12am PST 12/20/2010
Critique Expiration: 12am PST 12/21/2010 with 24 hour grace period for critique rebuttals.
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST 12/17/2010, +1 if posted by 12am PST 12/18/2010; -1 if posted by 6am PST 12/20/2010, -2 if posted by 12pm PST 12/20/2010
Is there such a thing as cosmic justice? I don't mean from a theistic perspective (but you can choose that), rather from a deistic or atheistic angle. Do actions matter on an ontological level? If so, don't thoughts and ideas matter too? Or is everything self-referential? Our meaning is meaningful to us alone? I think it's possible to be an atheist and still believe there's an unseen meta-structure to the universe. But the idea of cosmic justice is compelling, isn't it? I think karma is probably bs, but maybe it's real and there's some complex set of rules behind it. After all, some jerks never get their comeuppance. That's a shame. Hell, that's probably the cause of thwarted rage—which as we all know results in violence, thus making a whole new generation of jerks. Maybe there's some cosmic explanation? Play around with the theme, I don't really have an exact notion.
Combat Expiration: 12/13/2010 12am PST
Critique Expiration: 12/14/2010 12am PST
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST 12/10/2010, +1 if posted by 12am PST 12/11/2010, -1 if posted by 6am 12/13/2010, -2 if posted by 12pm 12/13/2010
We're all in decline. We're dying. We're losing our value. Maybe we speed up the process. Let's hear about that. Booze and pills for the sloppiest of Joes and bad decisions for the prudes. Even those at peaks decline. Those in pits decline as well.
Combat Expiration: 12/6/2010, 12am PST
Critique Expiration: 12/7/2010, 12am PST. Grace period of 12 hrs for counter-critiques, to allow for rebuttals to last minute comments.
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 8pm PST 12/3/2010, +1 if posted by 12am PST, 12/4/2010, -1 if posted by 6am 12/6/2010, -2 if posted by 12pm 12/6/2010.
The muses have many strange means of transmitting their will to the writer. Rhyme and meter is one way; life experience and the will to write is another. For Robert Frost or Stanley Kunitz, nature might serve as muse; for me—among other things—I'm inspired by politics and news. Many writers try to avoid these subjects, but the topics encode all sorts of aspects of our psyches. Politics and news are NARRATIVE; sheer story—but a specific kind of story: one that claims to be 'real.' I want you to engage the news or politics from any angle you wish. These are primal topics, but that's okay—I want a primal combat. Freestyle if you wish.
Combat Expiration: 11/29/2010, 12am PST
Critique Expiration: 11/30/2010, 12am PST. Grace period of 12 hrs for counter-critiques, to allow for rebuttals to last minute comments.
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 8pm PST 11/26/2010, +1 if posted by 12am PST, 11/27/2010, -1 if posted by 6am 11/29/2010, -2 if posted by 12pm 11/29/2010.
The Rules: http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/official-rules-for-combatwords-updated.html
Depending on one's current condition and temperament; the future is either going to be awesome, horrible, or at least... something. Some people slather their futures with science myths to justify their current conditions. We've built the rockets, space stations, clones and computers that look like lovers, we're still looking for the next invention that will somehow give us insight into our purpose. Alternately, some see the future as some sort of projection of self. "I will live w, and marry x, have y kids and work as a z." To this frame of mind, changes in circumstance are unimaginable. Both models are pledged to a deep, yet essential aspect of irrationality.
Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 11/22/2010
Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 11/23/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 for posts by 9pm PST, 11/19/2010, +1 for posts by 2am PST, 11/20/2010; -1 for posts by 6am PST 11/22/2010, -2 for posts by 12pm 11/22/2010
We misapprehend, delude ourselves or just fuck up. Ah, but being aware of the fuck up—THAT is what's interesting. How do we even know we're wrong at all? Getting it wrong means completely misunderstanding. Writers try to understand and get things right, so writing about wrongness is more interesting.
I liked last week's freestyle so much, I'm gonna tack its rules on to this thread. If you're not interested in the combat theme, just wait for someone to write on something you prefer and riff off him/her.
Combat Expiration: 9am PST, 11/14/2010
Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 11/16/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 for posts posts by 7:30pm PST 11/12/2010, +1 for posts by 12am PST 11/13/2010. -1 for posts by 1:30pm PST 11/14/2010, -2 for posts by 6pm PST 11/14/2010
The first posters to this thread set the tone for this Combat. You can write about anything, so long as you're first. After 4pm, late posters MUST riff off existing posts. This can go on indefinitely. Example: posters A, B & C post by 4pm. They all pick different topics. Poster D riffs off B's post after 4pm PST. Poster E will be able to riff off A-D. This should keep the combat fluid & personal. If I suspect you just posted canned writing, I'll just disqualify it.
Combat Expiration: 12pm PST, 11/7/2010
Critique Expiration: 12pm PST, 11/8/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +3 for posts by 5pm PST, 11/5/2010; +2 for posts by 9pm PST 11/5/2010; +1 for posts by 2am PST 11/6/2010.
Penalties: -1 for posts by 8am PST 11/7/2010, -2 for posts made by 4pm PST 11/7/2010. Sorry I didn't announce this sooner.
The only thing funnier than pathetic setbacks are when those pathetic setbacks are memorialized in story. I avoided the normal pairing of Tragedy w/ Comedy, because Farce is directly related to Tragedy. Farce is Tragedy that fails to elicit sympathy and instead summons the audience's smug contempt. Really, I paired these two, because I'm hoping one of the combatants will successfully combine BOTH Farce AND Tragedy into a single composition.
Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 10/31/2010
Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 11/1/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 if posted by 6pm PST 10/29/2010, +1 if posted by 12am PST, 10/30/2010.
CombatWords, October 22, 2010: Vice, Virtue and Free Will
I usually keep a torn up copy of the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius on my desk. To create order in a world that is full of inconstant people, he urges one to focus on knowing rightness (which he doesn't axiomatize) and then applying it, regardless of conditions around one. Bold philosophy, but I wonder how well it holds up in a cattle car filled with freezing, starving, dehydrated people on their way to a death factory? He would say that sticking to virtue, even when self-detrimental, is evidence of free will. I think I agree with that notion, having cooked up my own proof for free will before I even read MA: suicide & celibacy—two actions which contradict models of genetic determinism. Oh, but the cattle car, the cattle car! Maybe there are triggers that exist so deeply within us that most people don't encounter them even once in life? And jammed in a cattle car, must we return to our origins as meat circuitry?
Combat Expiration: 12am PST, 10/24/2010
Critique Expiration: 12am PST, 10/25/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 by 8pm PST, 10/22/2010; +1 by 2am PST, 10/23/2010; -1 by 6am 10/25/2010, -2 by 12pm 10/25/2010
So I love the Beandog Militia—what can I say? They are deadly satirists. When they're not busy mocking some poor degenerate on Twitter, they're busy mocking everybody & everything else—selves included. In fact, they've got the #tcot (Top Conservatives On Twitter) believing a conspiracy theory THE BEANDOGS PROPOSED! This is sheer win of course, for when the subject of satire actually starts to believe his/her satirist, it means the satirist has effectively entered into the satirized party's personal narrative. Write satire directed at any target you'd like... even yourself.
Combat Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/17/2010
Critique Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/18/2010,
Bonuses: +2 for comps that post by 8pm PST 10/15/2010; +1 for comps that post by 2am PST 10/16/2010. -1 for comps that post by 6am 10/17/2010; -2 for comps that post by 12pm PST 10/17/2010
There are various types of 'farewell.' The "have a nice life," one; "see you later today," or; "Not sure if we'll see each other or not." The ways we say goodbye are just as subtle as the ways we say "hello." Hello and Goodbye are more complicated than simple starts and finishes; they represent how we conceive of our relationships with others. Hit any riff you'd like, but be more specific than a simple relationship or interaction—the ways we say hello or goodbye indicates our outlook, our sense of free will or determinism, and so forth.
Combat Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/10/2010
Critique Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/11/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +2 for compositions posted by 8pm PST, 10/8/2010 and +1 for posts that make it by 2am PST, 10/9/2010. -1 for postings up after expiration, but before 6am PST, 10/10/2010 and -2 for posts that make it by Noon PST, 10/10/2010
I don't want to end up like the Star Wars kid, but I don't mind laughing at him. I don't like racist humor, but I love humor that seems to be racist. Yes, I like to break some taboos, but I think other taboos are essential. Pedophiles fill me with some serious homicidal rage. You can offer me all the evolutionary psych and boo-hoo bullshit about fuxed up minds/childhoods; I still want to destroy them. In fact, that fury I feel for pedophiles is so intense, I just try to put it out of my mind most of the time. I think this is healthy, as we have a tendency to become our enemies. If you think enough about pedophiles, you start to see them everywhere. So sometimes, it's better not to think about them—this is the wisdom of taboo. Some things are filled with such infectious horror, they should be forbidden.
Of course, who does the forbidding? Well we do. We forbid ourselves and we forbid others; and as attitudes change, so do taboos. This is why I'm skeptical of taboos, even though I also see their value. You can't reason with some people and you just have to forbid them. Not all good judgments can be explained or rationalized and taboo is a recognition of this truth. Then again, lots of taboos are stupid
Combat Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/3/2010
Critique Expiration: Midnight PST, 10/4/2010
Bonuses/Penalties: +3 if posted by 6pm PST, 10/1/2010; +2 if posted by 9pm PST, 10/1/2010; and +1 if posted by Midnight PST, 10/2/2010
They say Cthulu will make you insane, but what does insanity really mean? An inability to function? Cantor's diagonal proof made him nuts and Gödel thought everybody was trying to poison him except for his wife. Those two were hardly incompetent. But then what do we mean by insanity? It's commonly claimed that the religious are insane; but what about atheists? They can't really disprove God, even if it can't be proven either. Do we give them a pass, because they're such damn good rationalists? Everybody is deeply irrational, so how can insanity be the opposite of reason? Use any angle you'd like, so long as it's theme-relevant.
Combat Expiration: Midnight, 9/26/2010
Critique Expiration: Midnight, 9/27/2010
Bonus: +3 if posted by 7pm PST, 9/24/2010; +2 if posted by 11pm PST 9/24/2010 and +1 if posted by 1am 9/25/2010 PST.
Is there such a thing as genuine atonement? Can one truly apologize, unless God's involved? Must there be a cosmic arbiter to verify that the scales have been equalized and the transgression undone? Must the wronged party accept atonement if the transgressor is to atone? Some people are bitter and don't forgive, but does that matter if the wrongdoing serves as catalyst for greater acts of love and kindness by the transgressor? Or is karma bunk? Do the cavemen have it right? Never apologize, never explain?
Combat Expiration: Midnight PST; Sunday, September 19, 2010
Critique Expiration: Midnight PST; Monday, September 20, 2010
CombatWords September 10, 2010: Conditioned Responses
I was going to make Culture the theme of this combat, but culture is only one of the many means through which our reflexes are shaped. Family, trauma, love; playing it safe, playing it dangerous: all of these factors contribute to the responses that shape who we are. Genes play a role, but so does art. In the 60s, lots of speculative fiction called androids 'reflex machines.' Is that all we are? A bundle of reflexes? Is BF Skinner right in the essential, even if he was wrong with particulars?
Combat Expiration: 9/12/2010, Midnight, PST
Critique Expiration: 9/13/2010, Midnight, PST
Bonuses: +3 if posted by 6pm PST (9/10/2010), +2 if posted by 9pm PST (9/10/2010), and +1 for midnight PST (9/11/2010) posts. -1 per hour, for posts that go up after Combat Expiration: Max -2.
Yellow Cards/Red Cards: This is a game of literary combat. Have a grudge? Try OUTWRITING your nemesis. Ordinary shit talk is not allowed, except as critique. You get one shot at critique, so get all your licks in one post. I don't mind bending the rules a bit, but problem posters get one warning in the form of a yellow card. Additional, blatant violations of the rules will result in a red card. Red cards mean I will delete all that poster's identifiable posts on the thread. I will permaban anyone who is persistently disruptive. If you can't be bothered to even try to outwrite your enemies, you don't belong here.
The word delusion suggests that we are animated by conscious, subconscious and unconscious motives. It's a word for cognitive dissonance. It's also a damned judgmental word, as if it's normative to be in full congruence with conscious, sub & unconscious motives. I call bullshit. Delusion is one of the fuels that makes this world run; indeed, Schopenhauer would argue that delusion makes LIFE possible, because it's foolish to be hopeful. I don't really care which approach you take; you can even be dismissive of delusion, but that's a rather deluded perspective in my opinion.
Combat Expiration: 9/5/2010, 12am PST
Critique Expiration: 9/6/2010, 12am PST
Bonuses: +3 for posts made by 6pm PST 9/3/2010, +2 if posted by 9pm PST 9/3/2010, and +1 if posted by 12:00am PST, 9/4/2010.
The September 2010 edition of National Geographic had a photo of a pair of lemur heads floating in a bowl of soup. After my outrage settled into sorrow, I considered a quote from the article: “But some people here don't know or care. The Malagasy who don't live near tourist areas think that lemurs are just for the vatzaha [white people]—they don't see the benefits.” James Fenimore Cooper wrote about a long extinct America—filled with enormous flocks of birds; Europe used to be a gigantic tangle of forest roots and Japan was a rainforest: it seems rather hypocritical to judge the devastation the Malagasy inflict on Madagascar's forests and wildlife given how rich countries are the end-consumers of the looting. I'm sure I've accidentally bought rainforest wood. So I'm willing to admit my hypocrisy in judging those who deforest the island; but what of their hypocrisy? Do our two positions negate each other? “Why should I do anything? You should stop first!” Hypocrisy is everywhere; in fact, it's wedded to the human condition. Given the way the world's jerks force the rest of us into collusion with them, who can really claim to be free of hypocrisy? And yet, does that prevent you from making a moral or ethical judgment? Does hypocrisy negate your own position? And if we accept there are gradients of hypocrisy, then how are we to measure them... and is that a waste of time? Hypocrisy is the point at which belief conflicts with action. You can take this in a moral/ethical direction, or you can celebrate hypocrisy as just another human trait.
Combat Expiration: August 30, 2010; 12am PST
Critique Expiration: August 31, 2010; 12am PST
Bonuses: +1/hour before August 28, 2010; 12am PST. Max Bonus +5.
Also, there's a magazine called http://longshotmag.com which is basically doing the same thing we are. Their deadline is August 28, 12pm, PST and I urge combatants to submit their finished compositions. This is their inaugural edition and several of you should be able to easily make it in there (if they have any sense of decent literary standards). So consider this your own reward for a good combat. Now Fight!
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